Post by Xavier on Apr 19, 2006 8:48:32 GMT
OMG I so want a bag of Piglets. I used to love em ;D
Discos - pre-Pringle, suspiciously regular and uniformly-shaped crisps with little in the way of flavour.
Farmer Brown's - rotten "farmyard animal" shaped efforts - the corn pulp- moulding technology meant cow, sheep and chicken alike looked more like jellyfish. "Farmer Brown, you've got a crunchy snack there!" went the cartoon animals in the ad. "Oo-ar!" replied Farmer Brown, somewhat predictably. "Bags of moo, neigh, woof, baa and cock-a-doodle-doo." Can't have lasted more than six months.
Fish 'n' Chips - little 8p bag of "fish" and "chip" shaped snacks. Bag had faux newsprint on the front. Came in Salt 'n' Vinegar or - yes! - "Mashed potato flavour".
Football Crazy - miniature packet of vaguely football-shaped crips with football-style packet motif, but with the added twist that if you saved X packets, you could send away for the team strip of your choice.
Good 'N' Crunchy Crisps - Foil-bagged (when this was a novelty) and ironically not very crunchy at all. Advertised by a cartoon cheetah - "The salt 'n' vinegar flavour, that's the one I adore!" Like ordinary crisps, but absolutely foul. Good gimmick.
Horror Bags - bat/ghost/fang shaped blobs in black "spooky design" packets which phased out in the early '80s to make way for the similar Outer Spacers. Usually pickled onion flavour.
KP Griddles - "...with the holes in the middles." Corn snacks conforming to aforementioned topology. Not too popular, probably because they suffered from that typical early '80s corn snack problem of the bright orange flavouring depositing itself in solid lumps at the bottom of the bag which made you sick, rather than spread evenly over the surface of the snack proper.
KP Outer Spacers - always "beefburger flavour" letter "A" shapes that were meant to be rockets, or pickled onion "space stations" (ie. rings). As with Farmer Brown's etc., the boldness of the design was let down by the primitive moulding technology. May still be with us, but they changed them some time in the '80s, and put a cartoon of what looked like Sigue Sigue Sputnik's Martin Degville on the packet.
KP Sky Divers - woeful flattened corn man-shapes with parachutes which of course were in various stages of dismemeberment by the time you opened the bag.
Piglets - tiny little potatoes pigs with a hollow middle. Baked bean flavour.
Smith's Jackets - more a pointer towards the modern-day Cape Cod/Brannigan's "traditional" crisp market rather than the old skool "silly shape, painted orange and stuffed with E numbers" snax, but still a relic. Basically Smith's didn't bother to peel the spuds before chopping, leaving a little brown ring round the edge of each one, because that was healthier (although they still deep-fried them in lard for forty minutes). Advert had bouncing animated spuds unwilling to go to their death (at the sinister 'Bloggs' Crisps' factory) unless it was for Smith's ("So we'll change this sign while the farmer goes in for tea!" they sang to the tune of "Bobby's Girl"), echoing Eddie Izzard's "fruit that agreed to be in the jam in the first place" line. Cue Cuddly Chris Tarrant, 'So good, every potato wants to be one'
Smith's Square Crisps - Square crisps. Nothing more to it. Advertised by a pre-charity Lenny Henry, eating a crisp and the either walking on the surface of a swimming pool or doing that "expanding room" optical illusion that James Burke and magnus Pike loved so much in the '70s (cf. Don't Ask me). "It's weird!"
Super Crunchies - Little-recalled snack with a memorable jingle. To wit-
Get your 10p piece
Get your BMX a bike
Take the corner to your local shop
And tell the man you like -
Super crunchies,
Super crunchies,
Super crunchies, they only cost 10p
So a bag of super crunchies is the one for me!
Tudor Crisps - also-ran brand, but the ad was an unforgettable Geordie masterpiece. One paper boy and his mate, one towering coucil block, one
broken lift: "Deliver these an' I'll give ya a canny bagga Tuda"
Whale Bones - similar in makeup to Fish 'n' Chips, but (obviously) in the shape of whale bones.
Wickers - wicker basket-shaped "roast chicken flavour" efforts - why is roast chicken such a terrible flavour? The ads had a medieval court theme, for some reason.
Wigwams - triangular, ready-salted crisp/cracker-type things.
Discos - pre-Pringle, suspiciously regular and uniformly-shaped crisps with little in the way of flavour.
Farmer Brown's - rotten "farmyard animal" shaped efforts - the corn pulp- moulding technology meant cow, sheep and chicken alike looked more like jellyfish. "Farmer Brown, you've got a crunchy snack there!" went the cartoon animals in the ad. "Oo-ar!" replied Farmer Brown, somewhat predictably. "Bags of moo, neigh, woof, baa and cock-a-doodle-doo." Can't have lasted more than six months.
Fish 'n' Chips - little 8p bag of "fish" and "chip" shaped snacks. Bag had faux newsprint on the front. Came in Salt 'n' Vinegar or - yes! - "Mashed potato flavour".
Football Crazy - miniature packet of vaguely football-shaped crips with football-style packet motif, but with the added twist that if you saved X packets, you could send away for the team strip of your choice.
Good 'N' Crunchy Crisps - Foil-bagged (when this was a novelty) and ironically not very crunchy at all. Advertised by a cartoon cheetah - "The salt 'n' vinegar flavour, that's the one I adore!" Like ordinary crisps, but absolutely foul. Good gimmick.
Horror Bags - bat/ghost/fang shaped blobs in black "spooky design" packets which phased out in the early '80s to make way for the similar Outer Spacers. Usually pickled onion flavour.
KP Griddles - "...with the holes in the middles." Corn snacks conforming to aforementioned topology. Not too popular, probably because they suffered from that typical early '80s corn snack problem of the bright orange flavouring depositing itself in solid lumps at the bottom of the bag which made you sick, rather than spread evenly over the surface of the snack proper.
KP Outer Spacers - always "beefburger flavour" letter "A" shapes that were meant to be rockets, or pickled onion "space stations" (ie. rings). As with Farmer Brown's etc., the boldness of the design was let down by the primitive moulding technology. May still be with us, but they changed them some time in the '80s, and put a cartoon of what looked like Sigue Sigue Sputnik's Martin Degville on the packet.
KP Sky Divers - woeful flattened corn man-shapes with parachutes which of course were in various stages of dismemeberment by the time you opened the bag.
Piglets - tiny little potatoes pigs with a hollow middle. Baked bean flavour.
Smith's Jackets - more a pointer towards the modern-day Cape Cod/Brannigan's "traditional" crisp market rather than the old skool "silly shape, painted orange and stuffed with E numbers" snax, but still a relic. Basically Smith's didn't bother to peel the spuds before chopping, leaving a little brown ring round the edge of each one, because that was healthier (although they still deep-fried them in lard for forty minutes). Advert had bouncing animated spuds unwilling to go to their death (at the sinister 'Bloggs' Crisps' factory) unless it was for Smith's ("So we'll change this sign while the farmer goes in for tea!" they sang to the tune of "Bobby's Girl"), echoing Eddie Izzard's "fruit that agreed to be in the jam in the first place" line. Cue Cuddly Chris Tarrant, 'So good, every potato wants to be one'
Smith's Square Crisps - Square crisps. Nothing more to it. Advertised by a pre-charity Lenny Henry, eating a crisp and the either walking on the surface of a swimming pool or doing that "expanding room" optical illusion that James Burke and magnus Pike loved so much in the '70s (cf. Don't Ask me). "It's weird!"
Super Crunchies - Little-recalled snack with a memorable jingle. To wit-
Get your 10p piece
Get your BMX a bike
Take the corner to your local shop
And tell the man you like -
Super crunchies,
Super crunchies,
Super crunchies, they only cost 10p
So a bag of super crunchies is the one for me!
Tudor Crisps - also-ran brand, but the ad was an unforgettable Geordie masterpiece. One paper boy and his mate, one towering coucil block, one
broken lift: "Deliver these an' I'll give ya a canny bagga Tuda"
Whale Bones - similar in makeup to Fish 'n' Chips, but (obviously) in the shape of whale bones.
Wickers - wicker basket-shaped "roast chicken flavour" efforts - why is roast chicken such a terrible flavour? The ads had a medieval court theme, for some reason.
Wigwams - triangular, ready-salted crisp/cracker-type things.
GO WALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
